ABSTRACT
In the gender politics of divorce, there is too little appreciation for human development and too much emphasis on competitive jousting. The blended families are unique social structures that serve the collective purpose that all families serve. This chapter discusses the core identity of motherhood and fatherhood and how this serves the development of children. Although motherhood has traditionally been associated with ideals of responsiveness, empathy, and relatedness, so called idealized feminine attributes, this might imply wrongly that men cannot embody these traits. Identity formation is an evolving process that begins with the baby’s initial self-recognition reflected in the gaze of the loving parents. Families are complex relational structures and step-parent/stepchildren relationships definitely add to this complexity. Step-parents differ in their degree of engagement, aptitude, and interest. Step-parents, who do the work with stepchildren in careful, measured ways guided by the child, have a good chance of experiencing good results.
