ABSTRACT

In this chapter, the author focuses on the parental couple, yet so far analysts have only been talking in more general terms about dependency. This inevitably takes them to the subject of Oedipal development. A full understanding of the terrible plight of such people is not possible without the concept of good mothering enabling Oedipal development, which is the only way that the child can acquire the capacity for love and concern. The core of this is the process by which the resistance to accepting the reality of dependency gives way to the recognition and valuing of parental strength and care, and, through this, the emotional strength and care is internalised. Even the capacity to think clearly—never mind personal relationships—can only develop through an adequate experience of a responsive and reflective mind, which is initially encountered in the mother, and, later, in the relationship of the parental couple.