ABSTRACT
This chapter explores the idea of belonging through the lens of attachment theory. Attachment theory speaks about organized and disorganized patterns of attachment. It argues that a child will turn to an attachment figure for comfort and reassurance when frightened or threatened. Dissociation sabotages any sense of belonging in the world. A. Schore states that dissociation is a response to trauma in which the person disengages from stimulation in the external world and attends to an internal world. Shame is also closely linked with trauma. Many people who experience deep shame develop a false self in an attempt to protect themselves from the full impact of their shame. Shame is also linked with the identity issues that many looked after children experience. The degree to which substitute carers have “come to terms” with any traumas they have experienced will determine their capacity to help their child to grieve.
