ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the author argues that addressing the evolutionary development of theories and practice facilitates integration and this involves necessarily revisiting the past in order to integrate disavowed parts of the self. She outlines her personal evolutionary process as a psychotherapist from impenetrability to transparency, which to some extent was her version of A. Freud's struggle with the dilemma of the psychotherapist's subjectivity in the therapeutic relationship. Freud's dilemma highlights the dynamic that in the process of creating something new we are often simultaneously separating from someone or something. This complex bilateral dynamic can create a narcissistic injury for both parties: the one being left feels betrayed and the one departing may experience a sense of grandiosity covering more complex feelings of shame, guilt, and fear. Freud wanted to separate and create a new science of the mind and yet he spent much energy consciously or unconsciously attempting to get recognition and acceptance from the scientists.
