Losing my religion? Psychotherapeutic practice as repetition compulsion of character rigidity

At thirteen, nearing my Bar-Mitzvah, my father woke me up early, telling me there was no school today. I later learned that my cousin was killed that evening, during the last few weeks of his mandatory military service. Hit by an RPG rocket, he died immediately. At the grave, a full military ceremony was given. Many people spoke and prayed; many cried.