ABSTRACT
The struggle between autonomy from the parents and dependence on them pervades the toddler years, and this intensifies particularly during the second year. As the toddler becomes more aware of his capacity to leave and of the gap that emerges between him and his mother, paradoxically he becomes more aware of his wishes for her. At some point between roughly the ages of 16 months and 3 years, most toddlers will go through a phase of strong feelings of both love and hatred for their parents as they adjust to the fact that they both want and need and do not want to want and need their parents' presence. It is not uncommon for toddlers to express their mixed feelings towards one in very direct ways. Biting, for example, may be accompanied both by feelings of wanting to be so close as to want eat up as well as of wanting to destroy and inflict pain.
