ABSTRACT
T he quotes above deal with perceptions of goals and motives within close relationships. This chapter will address two important questions regarding such perceptions. At the most gen-eral level, what goals do people attribute to men and women for entering into romantic relationships? At a more specific level, how do people go about attributing motives to men and women who act in particular ways and say particular things in relationships (Malle, 2004; Reeder & Trafimow, 2005)? Most of the time-regardless of whether or not we make our living researching close relationships-we think we know the answers to these questions. For example, the first quote above represents a set of assumptions made by the designers of “abstinence-only” programs. The designers assume that there are clear differences in the goals that men and women have for beginning a romantic encounter. In a nutshell, men are assumed to be guided by sexual needs, whereas women are assumed to be more concerned with communication and long-term commitment. Assumptions about gender differences concerning relationship goals are merely stereotypes, of course, but they are not trivial. Not only do such stereotypes guide the formation of government programs but also it is likely that they guide the actual behavior of men and women as they begin to form romantic attachments (Karney, McNulty, & Bradbury, 2003).
