ABSTRACT
Traditionally, sex therapy professionals and lay public believed that the male model of desire-spontaneous erection, erotic fantasy, intercourse and orgasm was “natural” and right. This chapter confronts this mistaken assumption and replaces it with the scientific understanding of female responsive sexual desire which promotes healthy sexuality, especially among couples and with aging. Responsive sexual desire involves giving and receiving touch and being open to each partner’s receptivity and responsivity. This is an active process which results in strong, resilient female and couple desire. The keys to desire are anticipation, sense of deserving pleasure, freedom and choice, and unpredictable sexual scenarios. Female desire is responsive to emotional connection and pleasure-oriented touch. Couples value both synchronous and asynchronous sexual experiences and enjoy “her,” “his,” and “our” bridges to sexual desire.
