ABSTRACT
A crucial factor in couple sexuality is to confront the traditional double standard where men value eroticism and women value intimacy. Intimacy and eroticism are very different dimensions but are not adversarial or incompatible. Both are valuable for women, men, and couples. The healthiest couples are intimate and erotic friends. The challenge, whether married or partnered, straight or gay, is to integrate intimacy and eroticism into their couple sexual style. Traditionally, intimacy was necessary for couple sexuality. Intimacy was more highly valued than eroticism. Eroticism had the connotation of dramatic, wild, breaking boundaries, and not being socially acceptable. The new sexual mantra of desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction recognizes the value of intimacy and eroticism for the woman, man, couple, and culture.
