ABSTRACT
We saw in the last chapter that the women expected something different from marriage than from relationships. The latter were seen as play, asobi. As long as a relationship remained asobi, it was a form of leisure and amusement (and a learning experience) and did not require the women to consider ‘complicated’ aspects of the real world. Such aspects included what they vaguely understood as class difference (although they did not articulate this as such), ethnic background, income level, employment status and potential in-laws. These complexities entered the relationship once the couple considered marriage. At 20, the women regarded marriage as a state that they would eventually
enter, but they lacked a realistic view of it, seeing marriage as a distant destination that they would somehow be able to control, as is seen in this conversation.
NOSHIE: Some of my friends married soon after graduating from high school and already have kids. One of my friends says that she has more freedom to enjoy herself [yoyû] now that her kids are at school. When I have kids and am living on a tight budget, they may invite me on a trip or something – but then I won’t be able to go!
