ABSTRACT
In ‘The capacity to be alone’ (1958) Winnicott shows that an adult’s emotional
independence develops from the experience of the infant feeling secure enough to be
alone and imaginatively explore the world, because a parent is reliably present. Winnicott
describes the infant’s development from the baby, undefended and vulnerable, protected
by the mother, to the emergence of the individual with a sense of his identity. He
emphasises that the role of the mother is to be emotionally available to the infant. Simply
being ‘together but alone’ is something that most mothers can offer their children and we
take for granted, but it is an achievement that demands maturity. As a child
psychotherapist working with parents and infants at high risk, I find Winnicott’s analysis
of the developing relationship between mother and infant helpful. He shows the changing
dynamic as the baby separates from mother emotionally and how this relationship can
break down under stress.
