ABSTRACT
Born: In modern form, sometime in the 1950s, although the original Thomas Cook hatched a rudimentary version in the mid-19th Century. Father: Fascist dictator. What? General Franco hit on tourism as a short-cut to economic prosperity; fishing villages filled with concrete hotels and BEA supplied the Brits. Distinctive features of a package holiday? Watney’s, chips with everything, pot-bellied men with tattoos . . . You know what I mean: All right, the distinctive features of a package holiday are, first, that flight, hotel and everything else are bought in one deal off the shelf and . . . What about the reps? . . . second, that a holiday company representative is on hand to provide assistance at the resort itself. Don’t these reps drag people out of bed and make them go cycling in the Atlas mountains and take part in hokey-cokey competitions? The more pro-active rep is, indeed, a legendary figure. So the package holiday boomed? Yes. By the seventies it was an integral part of the British way of life, inspiring its own pop songs, like . . . No, please! . . . Soleil Soleil, Y Viva Espana, The Birdie Song . . . Enough! Why did the Brits go such a bundle on Spain? Same reason posher Brits went a bundle on France and Italy. Which is? The uniquely civilised European way of life. Pardon? Sex and low-duty liquor. But now package holidays are finished? Far from it. True, Thomson, Thomas Cook and others are discounting 1994 holidays, but that’s recession. This year saw 12.5 million packages sold, matching the 1988-90 peak years. Where are they going? The old favourites – Spain, Greece, France. What about Thailand, Egypt, South America? They’re not package holiday destinations. They’re experiences. Sorry? A middle-class package holiday, as in ‘The Nile Experience’. What’s the difference? None, except (a) the price, (b) the respectability and (c) you come back on Orient Express. How is the package holiday business run? Like the rest of British industry. Manic expansion one minute, psychotic cutbacks the next. That’s why so many have gone bust? Intasun et al.? Yes, ’fraid so. Their epitaph? Y Vi-va! Esp . . . Stop! What’s a surviving package-holiday tycoon most likely to say? It’s a great place for the kids, and a great place for you. Where is? Anywhere Least likely to say? You’d have a better time walking in Yorkshire.
