ABSTRACT
This chapter covers the vital issue of how to help couples negotiate emotional needs using the Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO) tools. The IFIO approach guides and supports couples in understanding how they project childhood injury into current relationships and helps them identify the true needs underlying their frustration and anger. Therapists help each partner to sustain a loving relationship with her own parts so when the partner is not available no part is left feeling alone. The chapter presents a case study of Tom and Isabel that illustrates six steps that help a couple to identify and meet emotional needs. Before encouraging a client to become more vulnerable by making a request, the therapist assesses whether the client has enough Self-energy to tolerate no and help to unblend and take care of young parts by focusing inside and speaking for the need.
