ABSTRACT
I left to work with Grotowski without really understanding my reasons for going. Faced with my ego, I had difficulty justifying the trip: Grotowski had been so tough on me in Italy I guess different forces were driving me. I needed personal discipline. Grotowski was right, through laziness and impatience I just made moves to the side in my work. I always thought, however, this came from the fact that I had not yet found the right thing to do. I still think there is some truth in that. I had taken saxophone very seriously up to a point, and then stopped working. I did not have the incentive to break through to a level of total domination of the instrument because something inside me had said, this is not your place. From that point on, I relied on youthful energy alone to carry me through jazz sessions in which I improvised. But that worked less and less. The older I became the more the demand grew for quality of craftsmanship.
