ABSTRACT
Contemporary psychoanalysts do not usually draw links between
masochism and femininity as their forebears did. Indeed the concept of
female masochism, so controversial with feminists, is rarely discussed
openly. Nevertheless, the questions Freud and his contemporaries raised
about the nature of women’s desire and our capacity to combine
motherhood, professional creativity and sexual fulfilment remain highly
relevant today. It is widely acknowledged that men are more likely to be
sexual masochists, who can obtain gratification only through physical pain
or humiliation. But Freud asked why female sexual desire so often emerges
in fantasies of being punished or overpowered. He also noted a tendency in
his female patients towards self-sacrifice, and questioned whether it was
nature or nurture that drove women towards ‘moral masochism’ where they
martyred themselves to the needs of others and relinquished all life’s
pleasures, including sexuality (Freud 1919). Contemporary women
patients often struggle to break free from other patterns of self-imposed
suffering, including relationships where they feel trapped and unable to
extricate themselves from sexual partners who are cruel, tantalising or
unsatisfying.
