ABSTRACT
Why do premarital relationships decay? The most common explanations are distance, competitors, growing apart (Davis, 1973), and unresolved or escalating conflicts (Kelly et a1., 1985; Lloyd & Cate, 1985). Drigotas and Rusbult (1992) found that decaying collegiate relationships were more likely to end if the terminator had good alternative people to fill his or her needs for emotional involvement, intimate sharing, and companionship. A breakup was most likely if all three needs were filled by one alternative companion. In addition, relationships with lower involvement, commitment, communication, rewards, support from family and friends, and less hours spent together are also more likely to end (reviewed in Cate & Lloyd, 1992). Sometimes an initially intriguing or outstanding quality in a partner can eventually become a major source of dissatisfaction. Felmlee (1995) found over 29% of those who recently terminated a college relationship pointed to at least one such "fatal attraction" to their ex-partner. These attractive characteristics were most likely to be perceived as fatal in hindsight if they were striking, extraordinary, extremely, or significantly different from the respondent (Felmlee, 1998; see Table 3.1). Thus, perceived differences and abnormalities often become sources of friction and explanations for a breakup.
