Understanding and coping with emotions

This chapter presents research, theories, and practical advice for understanding and coping with emotions. This is a frontier area for research (Perlman, October, 1998). As a result, our popular language and understandings may interfere with developing more systematic knowledge of emotions. We will classify and rename some emotions in order to better understand them. We will present an overview of emotion theory and focus on the relational emotions that are least understood-interest and shame. Then we will apply our understanding to coping with four major emotions-shame, shyness, jealousy, and anger. Some major ideas introduced in this chapter may be new to you. They include:

We have seen strong support for the centrality of emotions in relationships from the contraction and resolution stages and the five-to-one ratio in Chapter 4, to current research on communication among distressed and non-distressed couples in Chapter 12. Therefore, we will delve deeply into affect, even though much future research is needed to provide the empirical support social science seeks.