ABSTRACT
In the above quotation from the popular movie, teacher John Keating (Robin Williams) encourages his students to seize control of life rather than passively accept what may come. This inspirational moment is the touchstone of the film, and his advice prompts a turning point for his students as they begin to take more personal risks in their own lives. In this chapter, I argue that there is a pervasive Carpe Diem (Latin for “seize the day”) thematic within Hollywood romantic comedies, and this theme suggests a relational script in which dramatic gestures are upheld as the primary means of navigating important turning points in romantic relationships. In many ways, our “selves” are constructed by our romantic relationships as we simultaneously construct and maintain them. Hence, the “romantic vision” provided by Hollywood to help us negotiate our dating scripts might constitute a central piece of our overall identity. As relational scholar Sternberg (1995) noted, “We choose the person who presents us with the love story we like best, even though that person might not be the most compatible partner for us” (p. 544). Thus, our happiness in a relationship may well be determined by how close our actual relationship matches the story we create for our “ideal” relationship.
