ABSTRACT
The birth of my daughter coincided with the beginning of my doctoral studies in psychoanalysis. At the time, I was studying Lacan, having therapy with a Winnicottian therapist and struggling to survive in a housing co-operative. Idealistic visions of bringing up a baby communally were eventually forced to confront the chaotic, unsupportive reality of my situation and I moved out. My daughter was named after J.D.Salinger’s novel, For Esmé with Love and Squalor, because the title summed up so aptly the love and passion I felt for my child and my hatred and feelings of obliteration towards the harsh realities of having to cope with single motherhood in an unconventional, non-nuclear family set-up.
