ABSTRACT
At a social gathering of psychologists almost 20 years ago, I was having a conversation about my research interests, when one man said, “Whenever a woman says, ‘I want to talk about our relationship,’ it makes my boots squeak.” Eager young scholar that I was, I laughed but was too shy to tell him that my research showed that even though he was more witty than most, his response was typical, especially for males. Men are more likely than women to feel that talking about the relationship means that there is something wrong and that he’s to blame. The imagery that was evoked by his witty comment stayed with me all these years, and so did my motivation to figure out whether thinking and talking about the relationship with one’s partner was good or bad for an intimate relationship.
