ABSTRACT
Here is how I (WD) respond to such a question: ‘The cop-out criticism of emotional responsibility can be stated thus. If a person is largely responsible for her own disturbed feelings, then if you act nastily towards her all you have to say is that because she largely disturbs herself about your bad behaviour then her feelings have nothing to do with you. A rapist is responsible for carrying out a rape regardless of how the person who has been raped feels and regardless of any so-called mitigating circumstances. Now if I act nastily towards you I am responsible for my behaviour regardless of how you feel about my behaviour. If my behaviour is nasty then I cannot be absolved of responsibility for my action just because you are largely responsible for your making yourself disturbed about the way I have treated you. Don’t forget, if my behaviour is that bad, it is healthy for you to hold strongly a set of rational beliefs about it and, whereas I cannot be held responsible for your disturbance, I can be said to be responsible for your distress. Thus, I cannot cop out of my responsibility for my own behaviour nor for “distressing” you.
