ABSTRACT
Half a year prior to his wedding, during the later third year of treatment, Phillip begins to enter a new spiritual terrain that emerges along with his erotic transference and its analysis. First, he confesses his castration and mutilation fears in relation to a fantasy of entering me sexually and finding I have sharp genitals, which could cause him intense pain. He then shares with me the vision of a clairvoyant who had seen two dark spots on his heart. It is there in the wound of his heart that he senses the root of his “motherload of grief.” It is there that he locates the psychophysical source of critical losses from his past, and from that which he believes to have been losses in past lives. Phillip tells me: “I have to make the losses manifest and release from inside of me. I think you saw my wounded state when I came to see you and was shut down. I think you saw my need to grieve and release the generations of pain. I'm trying to do it with you. When I came to you I think I was shut down around my emotions. It seemed it would be the end of me to let it out. But bit by bit I have been letting it out and finding it's safe!”
