ABSTRACT
My mother, Kim Ronyoung (nee Gloria Jane Kim), grew up in the Korean community of Los Angeles in the late 1920s and 1930s. Her parents had both emigrated from North Korea and arrived in the United States penniless and unemployed. Her mother came from the educated, yangban , upperclass, and her father from a family of countryfolk. My grandfather was in love with my grandmother; she “put up” with him. Despite this imbalance of affection, their difficult marriage was blessed with the birth of six children. Gloria was the first daughter after a string of four males (hence, her name) who presented a constant threat to her peace of mind. Asian families often impose a double standard of gender-specific behavior upon their children. While neither male nor female children are given much leeway, particularly difficult is the position of the daughter, which mixes the oil and water of responsibility with no power. The requirement is to serve and keep quiet, to work tirelessly for the well-being of others, especially males, while subordinating one’s own feeling states and thinking processes.
