ABSTRACT
Some time ago a Japanese psychologist, Azuma (1986), described the meaning of a common response by a Japanese mother to her stubborn child who refuses to eat a particular vegetable. She would often say, “All right, then, you don’t have to eat it.” How would you interpret this response? Most people would interpret it to mean that the mother did not feel very strongly that the child should eat the vegetable (could eat something else). Indeed, Azuma reports that this was his American research collaborators’ interpretation, also. Yet, Azuma indicates that it was those mothers, in particular, who felt most strongly about the child eating the vegetable, and that is why they used the strong threat, “You don’t have to obey me,” which means “We have been close together. But now that you want to have your own way, I will untie the bond between us. I will not care what you do. You are not a part of me any longer” (Azuma, 1986, p. 4).
