ABSTRACT
The famous epigraph to E. M. Forster’s (1910/1998) novel Howard’s End elegantly proclaims the penultimate importance of intimacy in human relationships: “Only connect . . . ” These twowords echowhat psychological theorists and researchers alike have systematically articulated: True intimacywith others is one of the highest values of human existence; there may be nothing more important for the well-being and optimal functioning of human beings than intimate relationships (e.g., Bowlby, 1969; Kelly, 1955; Rogers, 1951; Sullivan, 1953; for recent reviews of supporting research, see Reis, Collins, & Bersheid, 2000). However, these two simple words convey two messages simultaneously: “Only connect-relationships give meaning to life; all else is background!”; and “only connect-it’s as easy as that, simply connect!” For literary genius Forster, the dual surface of the message is intentional and carries a world of irony underneath. The characters and plot of his novel clearly support the notion that intimacy and connection are the bedrock of human happiness and meaning, but the story also convinces the reader that the exhortation to “only connect” is far from simple.
