ABSTRACT
Most families have thousands of formal and informal rules that regulate and direct family life. For example, think of the mail each family receives every day. When mail arrives, who goes to the mailbox and retrieves it? Where is it placed? Is it sorted and delivered to each person's room? Can anyone open the "junk" mail? Can parents open the children's mail? Are there certain types of letters that do not have to be shared at all? Most of the rules that govern these processes emerge without any fanfare or even much negotiation, but they have power to direct and dictate much of what we do. They influence where we sit when we watch T.V. or eat dinner. They direct which towels to use in the bathroom, where to store Christmas decorations, and who should replace the empty toilet paper roll.
