ABSTRACT
As we try to understand the nature of loving and its role in families, our observations and interviews suggest that the concept is complex and multifaceted, and that loving also is a fairly general and abstract term. This means it includes a large number of less abstract components, facets, or aspects. For example, it includes kindness and concern for the welfare of others. It also includes respect for others and their ideas, feelings, interests, and wishes; and an interest in the welfare of others rather than just an interest in one’s self. It includes thoughtfulness and integrity rather than hypocrisy, and a service orientation toward others. It also involves respect for the agency of others rather than trying to manipulate and control others for one’s benefit. It includes trying to create unity with others and peacemaking rather than contention. It includes patience and cooperation, and bridling negative affect so it does not lead to aggressive, mean, and demeaning behaviors. It includes a desire to repent of mistakes that harm others and to forgive and seek forgiveness, and it includes mercy and compassion rather than rejection and condemnation. It also includes a desire to help those who are less fortunate and disenfranchised.
