ABSTRACT
The methods I have described so far didn’t always work for me. Some couples never seemed to achieve the ability to talk safely and productively. This was true notwithstanding our accessing underlying issues and interlocking transferences, and my interpreting instances of projective identification. There would be moments of softening and closeness, but these would alternate with ones filled with angry recriminations or cold aloofness. Sometimes, I felt like I was writing on sand: Week after week, I would repeat the same interventions, uncover the same patterns, reframe the same issues, and provide the same holding and structure, but I would never turn the corner to find the partners able to perform these functions by themselves.
