ABSTRACT
I am tired and it is my last counseling appointment for the day. Fortunately, I am reenergized because Ray and Cathy are a new referral and I am always up for the challenge of helping strengthen a marriage. I begin the marital counseling process discussing informed consent, including the desired outcome. Suddenly, Cathy looks at Ray and starts yelling,
“I told you we should have done this 6 years ago and you wouldn’t listen; now it is too late! I want out!”
“Wow, I am so sorry; I wish I knew how dissatisfied you were. What will happen to our kids?” Ray replies.
“Oh—now you act like you care in front of a counselor? How can I stay married to you? You are just an untrustworthy slime ball.”
“I would never have had an affair if you were not such a cold witch,” states Ray.
“Ouch!” I am thinking.
“Cathy, uh, Ray—could you try to take a deep breath and let’s start the session over?” I said. “I don’t want to discount your anger, but I don’t think it is helping you get what you want from this session. Is it possible to act as if your marriage could be improved or have you totally made up your mind that you want a divorce?”
Cathy says, “Ask him; it’s entirely his fault!”
Ray replies, “Do you see what I have to put up with?”
There must be a better way!