ABSTRACT
Having been greatly favored of God & made a partaker of the way of salvation in early life, & having been personally & intimately acquainted with Mother Ann Lee, & those who came from England with her, I not only feel it my duty, but esteem it a special privilege to bear witness concerning those distinguished messengers of truth thro whom we received the everlasting gospel, & to give a true statement of those things which have been revealed & made known unto us in this day of Christ’s second appearing. I shall in the first place give a brief statement of my own religious experience in early life, & show the reasons which induced me to <embrace &> maintain the faith & testimony of these witnesses in the gospel of Christ.
My native place was Sharon, Co. of Litchfield in Conn. From a child, I was a subject of religious impressions. Being of a weakly constitution, the fear of death, judgement & eternity, often stared me in the face. I felt that I was a child of wrath, & knew no way of escape. Often did I pray to God in the best manner I was able, but could if nd no relief. My parents were members of the presbyterian Chh. in good standing, & maintained a good reputation in the world. They taught me morality, & instructed me in the principles of religion according to their understanding – but I could find nothing in their religion to relieve my soul from guilt & fear.
When I was about ten years of age, my parents moved up into West Stock-bridge Mass. & settled in good circumstances, as to worldly prospects. But as I grew older my convictions became more powerful. At the age of 13, in consequence of excessive fatigue in a very hot / day, I was melted & thrown into such a weak & debilitated state that my life was dispaired of. This greatly increased my concern of mind, & I felt as tho I must seek something for my future & eternal welfare, but how to gain it, I knew not; nor could I find any one to teach me, nor administer any healing balm to my soul. In consequence of finding nothing in religion to take away my condemnation, & ease my painful convictions, I had recourse to lightness & vanity, in hopes thereby to throw off my trouble of mind. This alarmed my parents, who knew not the cause; & this, I have no doubt is the experience of many young people who really desire the knowledge of salvation, 83& having none to lead them, but those who are as blind as themselves, they fall into the same deceitful snares of the devil.
In the latter part of the year 1774, being then in the sixteenth year of my age, an extraordinary revival of religion broke out among the youth & children, in the town of West Stockbridge, & continued thro the winter. Many small children & youth, up to the age of sixteen were greatly exercised with the conviction of their lost state, & felt the necessity of seeking a way of escape from the wrath to come. This revival was confined exclusively to the young. They held many meetings, & were powerfully wrought upon. Many of them had strong testimonies of prophecy respecting the near approach of the day of full salvation. So extraordinary were these meetings that it seemed to the spectators, as tho the words of our Savior were there verified, “out of the mouths of babes sucklings thou hast perfected praise.”
While making a vocal prayr in one of these meetings, I was involuntarily constrained to cry out & testifyed that Christ was about to make his second appearance; that the time was near at hand, & that I should live to see this work. / But when I came to mingle again with the unbelieving world, & imbibe their sense & feelings, altho I was confident that I had spoken from a superhuman impulse; yet I felt the spirit of doubting, & was surprised at a prediction which was so contrary to the natural sense of mankind, who always endeavor “to put far away the evil day.” And tho my belief was staggered, in what I have thus predicted, yet I could feel no liberty to recall it, but it still remained on my mind, as a divine inspiration. In the time of this revival, my convictions greatly increased upon me; I saw clearly that I was a fallen creature, lost from God & prone to evil. And altho I frequently felt the power of God, which for the time released me from the burden of guilt which my soul felt, yet the carnal propensities of my nature would again get the ascendancy, & bring me into captivity to the law of sin & death. I cried to God in the best manner I was able, but still could not find my soul delivered “from the body of this death”
From the conviction & light which I had received, & the intervals of releasment I had experienced, many professors of religion tried to convince me that I was converted, & born to God, & ought to join the Church. Being desirous to secure my salvation, these persuasions had so much effect on my mind, that altho I had been sprinkled in my infancy, I was at length induced to be baptised with water, & joined to the Chh. of the seperate Baptists, so called, as these people appeared to have the greatest light and power of any with whom I was then acquainted. But I soon found that the power of salvation was not to be obtained here; for I could not obtain power over sin, nor any deliverance from a sinful nature altho I sought it earnestly.
I could not therefore see how it was possible that I was truly converted & born of God, while / living in sin: for I read in the Scriptures, that “whosoever 84sinneth is of the devil;” & also “He that is born of God sinneth not.” And I could see no consistent way of reconciling these two characters in the same person. Hence I concluded that I must still be a child of the wicked one, notwithstanding all my light & conviction, together with my Christian profession. Yet I fully believed the Spirit of God has been striving with me to show me a more excellent way; & that this way would be clearly made known whenever the true Chh. of Christ should be found. But where to if nd it I knew not. I could see but little distinction between the professors of religion & the rest of mankind, who made no profession. Nor could I see how those professors could belong to the Chh. of Christ, & at the same time live in the carnal pleasures of the world. I was strongly convicted that no one could be a child of God & live in sin; nor follow Christ in the regeneration, & at the same time, live in the carnal works of generation, or gratify that nature in any way or manner whatsoever.
As Jacob Drake 1 was an elder & leading character in the Baptist Chh. I opened my mind to him on those subjects, particularly concerning the works of the flesh. He said that unmarried people could not live in sexual indulgence, without condemnation; but married persons could live in such things & still have religion, & enjoy the love of God, because it was lawful for them. I replied that the act & motives were the same in both cases; whether married or unmarried they were actuated by the same feelings, & went forth to gratify the same inclinations. Therefore I could not see why the condemnation should not justly be the same. I could not see how the marriage ceremony could make that corrupt nature any more clean in the site of <a pure & holy> God than it was before. The more I labored upon the subject, the more my light and convictions increased; & I fully believed that the works of the flesh / in any manner; or under any ceremony did not belong to Christ, & therefore must be excluded from his people.
Under the light & power of this conviction, I was able for a time, to take up a full cross against every indulgence of that nature, & in a great measure, to abstain from every known sin; but I could not if nd deliverance from the reigning power of an inbred evil nature; nor could I if nd anyone who could tell me where or how to ifnd that salvation which I had been led to believe was to be found in Christ. Therefore after all my inquiries after true & undefiled religion, not being able to ifnd any people, nor even an individual who lived the life of Christ according to my understanding, I was led to believe there was no true Church of Christ on earth, at least I knew of none. Hence I almost abandoned myself to dispair, & sought to drown my convictions in the vain pleasures & amusements of the world.
At that time the country was engaged in the revolutionary war, & as I could find no relief to my troubled soul, I enlisted in the army, partly with a view to throw off my conviction & trouble of mind, & partly to indulge the revolutionary Spirit of liberty, which I felt in common with others here I passed thro many fatigues, went on a number of dangerous expeditions, & was in several 85severe actions. In one instance all my party fell around me & I was left alone – & in several others amid the horrid carnage and confusion of battle, my life was miraculously preserved.
On these occasions, I felt sensibly impressed that I was preserved by the providence of God for some future work; & my former prediction, that I should live to see the second coming of Christ came forcibly into my mind & seems to tell me that for this cause I was spared. / To these remarkable preservations, I might add that in the course of my youthful days I was three times rescued from the water, when to all human appearance I was drowned, & must inevitably have perished, had not that same Divine Providence who preserved Jonah in the whale’s belly, and whose protecting care is over all His creatures, mercifully preserved my life.
I found by experience that a military life, with all its varying scenes could not stifle the voice of conscience – for even amidst the awful corruptions common in an army, & the scenes of dissipation with which I was surrounded, my convictions still followed me. Even fair, where the passions of Cain rule, “& blood toucheth blood,” the Spirit of God arrested me, & convinced me that Christ’s kingdom was a kingdom of peace, & not of war; & therefore his subjects could have nothing to do with wars & if ghtings. After I served out the time for which I was < had> enlisted, I was honorably discharged & returned to my father’s house.
Altho I was a member of the Baptist Church, & my Parents in consequence of my zeal in the aforementioned revival, & the light they had received, had been induced to join themselves to the same Church, yet I could not even here, find a resting place for my Soul. Hence I concluded that there was no other way for me, but to settle down in the world & wait & watch to see if I could heer of anything like the work of God, for which the Spirit of God had directed me to look.
At the time of the revival of 1779 in New Lebanon, I was profitably employed at my trade in Stillwater; but as soon as I heard about work, I sent off for that quarter with fervent desires that I might be made a partaker of its blessings, if it was of God. I soon received the Spirit of the revival & my former convictions were greatly awakened. My prospects of the near approach of the day of full salvation were revived with additional light & power, / & for a time I felt great releasement from the power of sin, & was much encouraged; but it was not abiding. The power of the work soon died away, & left its subjects destitute of that real salvation which they sought. Nothing now remained but a hope of realizing their expectations of salvation and a future work which they had predicted as about to take place. In this situation I was left with the rest, & again concluded that I must settle in the course & order of the world.
In the spring of 1780, strange reports began to circulate respecting some remarkable foreigners, who lived in the wilderness a little above Albany, <&> who professed a very strange kind of religion. From all that I could gather by report, 86concerning their Testimony, I was forcibly struck with the belief that they possessed that work of God which I had sought from my childhood. This belief was strengthened by the circumstance that their religion was condemned by the world, & the people much spoken against. For I read in the Scriptures that all manner of evil should be spoken against the followers of Christ falsely for his sake.
Sometime in June, while at work in an upper room in my Father’s house, I saw thro the window, a man coming, with his arm extended towards the house. As he appeared evidently under the operations of supernatural power, it struck my feelings as being something from God. He followed his hand into the house & directly up stairs into the room where I was at work, & laying his hand on my head, he told me some of the secret transactions of my life, which I knew none but God could reveal to him. This convinced me that he had that light of God which I had never before seen in any person. The man was Samuel Johnson Sen. 2 who had formerly been a Presbyterion preacher, & had recently embraced this new religion. /
This was to me, additional proof that these strange people were of God, & I was determined to go & see them for myself. But owing to a tedious sickness which continued nearly thro the summer, I was unable to go untill the Sept. following. At this time they were in prison at Albany, where I went to see them. The first interview I had with them, was thro the grates of the prison window. Elder William Lee 3 came to the window, bowing under the operations of divine power, & I felt sensible that he was bowing to God. He spoke the word of God to me with great power. He preached the cross of Christ and & a sinless life. His testimony penetrated my very soul, & felt like a consuming fire against all evil. Surely said I to my self this is the word of God, such as I never heard before, and these must be his true witnesses.
Owing to the strict watch of the enemies of their faith, I could obtain but little privilege with them at this time, & Mother Ann being then in the Pokeepsie {Poughkeepsie, New York} jail, I could not see her, so I returned home with a heavy heart. And now for the first time, the cross of Christ was presented to me in its fullness. I saw that to take it up, would cost me what the Savior had declared, even all. Here began that struggle between the flesh & the spirit, between life & death, of which I never before had any just idea. My circumstances were by no means unfavorable. My parents were professors of religion, in good standing, respected among their neighbors, & connected with respectable families. I had contracted matrimony with a young woman of respectable connections, & every prospect of worldly happiness appeared flattering.
I mention these things merely to show that the cross presented to my view was of no small consideration, & that I was under no necessity of joining these people for the loaves & if shes; but from an honest conviction of the truth of their Testimony. It now remained for me to choose for my self whether I would forgo all these worldly / prospects, & unite myself to a despised people whose very name was cast out as evil, not knowing what I might suffer in consequence 87of it, even in my own father’s house; or whether I would sacrifice my eternal welfare for the momentary pleasures of this world, and like Esau, sell my birthright for a mess of pottage, and thus forfeit my right in the kingdom of Christ, which I had so long been seeking, & which I fully believed was now revealed. I felt myself arraigned before the bar of God, & called upon to make my final & everlasting choice, resolving to sacrifise all for Christ’s sake & the gospel’s, & therefore set out with a full determination to obey my faith.
As soon as I heard that Mother Ann was released from prison, I hastened to Watervliet to see her. When I came into her presence & saw her godly appearance, & heard her sin killing testimony, I was convinced beyond a doubt that Christ was in her in very deed, & that his second appearance had here begun. The Spirit of Christ was manifested in her with such divine light & power, & was so soul searching that it appeared as tho the very thot & intents of my heart were plain & open before her. Indeed she told me the secrets of my heart in such a plain & convincing manner, that I perceived evidently that the candle of the Lord was in her hand, & that Christ was in her of a truth. This discerning light of God I have often observed, both in her & in those who stood with her. And tho her testimony felt like flames of fire against all manner of wickedness; yet it was like oil & wine to the soul that hungered & thirsted after righteousness. I saw in her & her little flock, many wonderful displays of the gifts & operations of Divine Power.
I wanted no further evidence of the real work of God & the power, / of salvation; I wanted no further proof of the call of God to me, to forsake the course of the world, with all its lusts & allurements, & enlist in the cause of Christ. I was therefore fully determined to obey the call of God, what ever it might cost me. Accordingly I made a full & honest opening of my whole life in the presence of God, & before Mother & the Elders as His witnesses. I related my adventures in the Army – my feats of war, & the narrow escapes I had of my life. Upon this Mother said, “You have been a valient soldier in the cause of war and bloodshed; but now you have enlisted under the banners of the cross, to be a soldier of Christ; & see you to it that you are as valient in his cause as you have been in the cause of your country. This war by {thro} the overruling providence of God, will be the means of securing liberty of conscience in this land, that the way may be prepared for the increase of the gospel, & the protection of God’s people.
I related my prediction, that I should live to see the second coming of Christ, & also the impressions I felt concerning it while exposed to the perils of war. In allusion to the time of my prediction she said, “If this work had been then made known to you, you would have embraced it, but you could not; for it had not then come to you. But now it has come to you, & now you must be faithful to obey it, & live strictly up to the light of God in your own soul. You have been convicted that the lust of the flesh is not of Christ; that it is rejected from his Kingdom: now see that you never touch it anymore. For after such powerful convictions, & such light and faith as you have received in relation to the works of the 88flesh, if you meddle with its gratifications any more, you will lose your birthright in the Kingdom of Christ, & will have your portion with devils. Go home & be honest, just & faithful in all things – follow Christ in the regeneration. In so doing you will find power over all sin, & God will bless you; & if you are truly faithful, your parents, & your father’s family will embrace the gospel.” – /
I then covenanted with Mother & the Elders, & promised before God, that I would be obedient. After receiving many precious instructions, I returned home, & in obedience, I have ever found Mother’s words to be true. I received power over all sin, & an increasing victory over a sinful nature; so that from that day to this, I have been enabled to keep myself unspotted from the flesh, & to separate myself from the world with all its affections & lusts.
My father’s family were then all in unbelief, but according to Mothers words, they soon after embraced the gospel. Soon after this I took up my residence at my father’s house, settled all my worldly affairs, & agreeable to my own faith & determination, freed myself from all worldly embarrassments, so that I could devote my self & services wholly to the work of God. After this I spent one winter at Harvard, where Mother & the Elders then were, & worked at my trade as a tailor, making garments for the brethren. Here Mother instructed me how to work in the gift of God, that I might always be under the immediate blessing of God, & be accepted of Him in all my works.
While Mother & the Elders were at Ashfield, I went there to see them. There I found an increase of strength & encouragement in the gospel, by the increasing manifestation of the power & gifts of God which I received from them, & which flowed into my soul like the waters of life, & filled my little vessel quite full. Being now a free man, & without encumbrance, Mother adopted me into her family, to work at my occupation for the family, & for other believers as occasion required, & to go & come, whenever called upon, as an obedient child & faithful messenger, wherever & on whatever mission it might be found necessary.
This was my commission, & I considered / it a special privilege, & resolved to be faithful & punctual in my duty, as I well knew the continuance of such a privilege must depend on my faithfulness, for the promis was only to the faithful. By this arrangement I had much opportunity with Mother & the Elders at all times & in all places where they visited. And when they returned to Watervliet, I lived there with them, & continued with them to the last, except when sent away on business.
And I can truly say before God, Angels, & man, that in all my acquaintance with them, in all places & under all circumstances, I never saw a sinful action in them, nor heerd a sinful word from their lips. There was not the least appearance of any of those crimes of which they have been charged by their enemies, but on the contrary they always maintained a powerful testimony against every thing of the kind. And had they indulged themselves in lewdness, intemperance, indecency, wrath, malice, deception, or any kind of evil whatever, I certainly 89should have had some discoveries of it at some time or other; but I saw nothing of the kind in all my acquaintance with them.
I have been with them when they were surrounded by persecuting mobs, who appeared more like a raging, infuriated devils than like human beings. These creatures were not only intoxicated with liquor, but drunk with passion to such a degree that they feared not God nor regarded man, having not the least regard to humanity or decency of any kind. At the same time I have seen Mother & the Elders upon their knees, praying to God in the most fervent manner for these riotous persecutors who were thirsting for their blood, & seeking to destroy them. And these malicious wretches, as if to fill up their measure of wickedness have gone away & charged their own cruelty, indecency, & intoxication upon Mother & the Elders, who were praying for them, while they were raging & foaming out their own shame. They did this to cover their own wickedness, & excuse themselves for their shameful abuse. / This has been the origin of many, if not most of those slanderous reports which have been circulated against Mother & the Elders.
The candid & unprejudiced among natural men, after the strictest scrutiny, could find nothing to condemn in all the conduct & conversation of Mother Ann, but much to admire. Those who heard her heavenly precepts, & whose souls were fed & refreshed by the treasures of the everlasting Gospel from her lips, felt & knew that Christ was in her of a truth, & that the wisdom of God was evidently made manifest thro her. She was indeed the most perfect example of purity & holiness, justice & truth, charity & mercy, that ever my eyes beheld.
Her industry & frugality, neatness & economy in temporal things, exceeded all that I had ever seen. Her kindness & charity to the poor of this world appeared conspicuous on every occasion that presented; & her heavenly love and compassion for the lost race of man appeared boundless. To gain them to God, & alleviate their miseries, she appeared always willing to spend & be spent. For this cause she suffered tribulation, persecution, & many afflictions, to the laying down of her life.
She taught me the way of life & salvation, & by her my soul was baptised with the holy Spirit of Christ. This is that spiritual anointing which is in Christ, which saves the soul from sin, & produces obedience to the gospel of salvation. This is the true baptism of Christ, and I know of no other. I can truly say I received this from Mother Ann. She taught me to love & respect that light which the Spirit of God had formerly manifested in my Soul; & to that light which so powerfully convicted me in early youth, she & the Elders often appealed. And they always enjoined it upon me to be faithful & obedient to the light of God, & to that faith which it had implanted in my soul. And this is the counsel which I have ever received from all the Elders who have succeeded her to this day. /
I have witnessed the gathering of the Chh., & all the changes that have taken place in the Society from the beginning of our faith, & have seen the increasing work of God clearly displayed from time to time, down to the present 90day. I have been particularly acquainted with all the Elders who have succeeded each other, & have ever found in them the same annointing of God, & the same faith & doctrine has ever been maintained by them that I received from Mother Ann, & the first witnesses with her.
Being sensible that my work is almost done, & that I have but a short time to remain in this body, I feel it my indispensable duty, to leave the testimony of these things on record, that they may stand as a witness to the truth for the time to come. Knowing that I am bound for eternity, & having no possible object to gain by deceiving my fellow creatures, I can feel no other motive than a sense of duty to God, & of love & goodwill to men, to induce me to give a reason to all men for the hope that is in me by the gospel. It is with this view that I have made this statement of my religious exercises of mind, & my experience in that work of God, which I have received thro the ministration of Mother Ann Lee, & the Elders William Lee & James Whitaker. 4
And I can testify of a truth, that in them I found the perfect character of a true child of God, which professed Christians read in the New Testament. They were pure, holy, & harmless – the children of God without rebuke – And I know by the revelation of God in my own soul, that Christ did commence his second appearance in Mother Ann; & every true Believer that has felt the ministration of her spirit, & faithfully walked in it, can bear the same testimony; therefore we have no occasion to inquire of others concerning these things, because we know them for ourselves.
The truth will stand, & this gospel will increase, & prosper, & flourish, & all falsehood & false reports which have been raised against it, will yet fall before it. For I / know of the certainty that the Lord will protect His people, & defend His own heritage; & that no weapon formed against Zion shall ever prosper; for God has promised it.
Agreeable to the promise of Christ, I have received an hundred fold in this life, of the blessed treasures of the everlasting gospel, in things both spiritual & temporal, with a full assurance of everlasting life in the world to come. I have been blessed with that complete victory over the powers of sin, & over the fear of death, that I can confidently cry out in the language of the Apostle, “O death where is thy sting? O grave where is thy victory?” I can forever bless & praise God with all the feelings of my soul that He has given me this victory. Nor can I withhold my feelings of gratitude & thankfulness to my blessed Mother & Elders for their unbounded kindness & charity in ministering to me this blessed gospel of salvation.
