ABSTRACT
I was born in Pittsfield, Mass in 1761, and brought up by my parents in the Baptist order, and from about nine years old, was at times, under conviction and trouble of mind, feeling I was lost from God and lived in sin, and believed that if I died in this situation, I should fall under the just judgment of God. When I was about eighteen years old, my trouble of mind increased to such a degree that I could not rest a nights, which caused me to cry to God for deliverance. I prayed earnestly to God, that if I had any part in a Savior, I might be released from my trouble, and the burthen that lay upon me, and I was instantly released, and felt a greater manifestation and illumination of the spirit, than I had ever experienced before, which was a great comfort to me. I thought I was converted, and was paptised and joined the baptist church. But after I joined the church, I fell under greater trouble and condemnation than before, the illumination I had formely experienced gradually left me. I found I was not saved from sin according to my expectation; nor could I feel any forgiveness; this was the cause of my trouble. I conversed with the most examplary christian professors of my acquaintance; but they could give me no relief; nor remove the stings of a wounded conscience.
