ABSTRACT
This chapter explores some of the attitudes and skills that promote a therapeutic relationship between an adult and child, and considers some common barriers to open communication. A supportive and respectful relationship is built upon unconditional positive regard, which means looking beyond any difficult behaviour to a child expressing needs, however clumsily. Empathy is about being able to relate to a child's feelings and communicate understanding. It involves seeing things from their perspective, sometimes referred to as putting ourselves into their shoes. More important still, accounting perhaps for more than half the communicative value of the message, is body language – gesture, posture and movement. In talking with children educational psychologists need to be attuned not only to what they say, but to their whole demeanour. It is especially important in therapeutic conversations to notice any incongruence between what a child says and their non-verbal communication.
