ABSTRACT
The self-hatred of narcissism lies deeply buried behind the glittering image of self-love. Narcissists are focused only on the glittering image—the surface reflection of the mirror. The fact that Narcissus was conceived from rape means that he was a child born of destructive hate. The narcissist, then, suffers from internal rage that is seeking an outlet. The origin of the self-preoccupation that is observed in narcissism becomes clear from this perspective. People who engage in narcissistic defense—the redirecting of one’s rage into the unconscious—have in common a particular kind of parenting. Many self-hating narcissists have childhood histories of having their needs rarely gratified. They have learned the bitter lesson that love is not for them; they feel destined to have painful and disappointing love relationships. Research indicates that people tend to choose partners who are on the same basic level of mental maturity.
