ABSTRACT
The sacrifices mothers are willing to make for their children are illustrated every day in great and small ways. Mothers need to find the place between love and hate where they can give themselves permission to feel hatred toward their children and actually use that emotion to nurture a secure and healthy bond of love. Primary among the rewards that the mother receives is the responsiveness of the infant. When an infant recognizes her mother and establishes eye contact or smiles, the mother experiences extremely positive feelings. The impossibility of this mothering ideal is conveyed by a little-known legal tradition, still in existence, in England. Mother love, like all other forms of love, is infused with a great deal of hate, anger, and resentment. These feelings are normal and inevitable. The child’s sleep represents that lapse in time, a psychic space of aloneness that is essential if the mother is to regenerate herself.
