ABSTRACT
Psychotherapists face feelings of despair, doubt and anger from their patients but also within themselves if they doubt their own practice. What can we learn from these experiences? Children with long-standing emotional difficulties may wish for change but have little hope that this is possible. Their rage and confusion can be projected into the child psychotherapist who needs to recognise these dynamics as part of the therapeutic process, which can be thought about and understood with the child in psychotherapy. Winnicott’s idea that surviving hate in the countertransference is a necessary aspect of psychotherapy is a useful concept. Clinical work is used to show how young people can identify with their parents’ chronic despair relating to their own histories of trauma and depression. Then there is a dual therapeutic task: helping young patients separate from these projections, and working with the parents to help them recognise these dynamics, and how they can undermine their children with their anxiety. Equally challenging for the psychotherapist is finding a firm but understanding response to a young person’s cruel interaction, fuelled by anger about early neglect and loss. Surviving and learning from these challenging times can lead to hope and progress in therapy.
