ABSTRACT
This chapter examines what happens “when things go wrong” in a relationship. It explores how partners engage relationship challenges by grappling with two central questions – one oriented toward the past, the other to the future. Relationships can be confounding, difficult, hard work. Common responses to struggles with past pains and uncertain relational futures are to withdraw from other persons or situations, attempt to control them or, possibly, shut off oneself emotionally. Interpersonal perspectives on forgiveness emphasize social aspects of this complex process. A fascinating, robust finding from research with unhappy longterm romantic partners reveals that these relationships are remarkably unimaginative, with distressed couples typically exhibiting rigid, predictable patterns of behavior. The very nature of close relationships is vulnerability and co-created experiences with one’s relational partners. Interpersonal perspectives on forgiveness emphasize social aspects of this complex process.
