ABSTRACT
Children who suffer abuse or repeated lack of maternal care are raised to believe that the world only contains two polarised positions: strong and powerful, or weak and vulnerable. They live in a world of kill or be killed. Their brain is wired to perceive all relationships as potentially dangerous, and their survival depends on adaptation and on constant vigilance. In the early years of development, the mother is the world to her child. When he feels safe and the care is reliable and consistent, he experiences himself as the centre of a loving world. On the contrary, when the giver of life happens to be the source of his distress, the child develops a view of the world as a place of threat, pain and suffering. A child who has been hurt or let down by people who were the closest to him learns that intimacy is a dangerous business.
