ABSTRACT
Everybody loves a good underdog story. People cheer for them, scream their names and hope that, despite great adversity and impossible odds, they will turn things around and come out on top. The greatest burden young people must bear is the unlived lives of the adults in their immediate environment. Young people whose realities have been impacted by early failures in attunement are not the only ones who need to defend against shame-based memories. For example, many of us working in the caring professions often protect ourselves from similar anxieties by enacting the role of the compulsive carer. But no matter how disguised they are, our attempts to satisfy personal unmet needs will only succeed if the other is willing to cooperate. Self-deceit and lack of awareness are forces that promote fear, intolerance and conflicts. Conversely, an empathic exploration of our shadow elements fosters the building of meaningful working alliances.
