ABSTRACT
When we help children and teenagers to talk about their feelings of anger and resentment, they can develop curiosity about how what has happened to them in the past colours their perception of the present. This is a sophisticated human capacity showing insight and self-awareness. Without help to speak about feelings, many children and teenagers will never develop that capacity. Instead, their anger and resentment moves all too quickly into blame and, perhaps, into fantasies of revenge. For example, before counselling, Toby, aged 13, said things like, ‘I just hit him because he deserved it’. After counselling he could say, ‘I think I hit him because he dissed me but I guess it was also because I was still feeling so let down by my Dad moving out.’
