ABSTRACT
Virtually every romantic relationship begins with the promise of finding someone to share your life with, someone who will make you feel special, important, and valued. However, each relationship also comes with a set of expectations that go deeper, which gets into a person’s fantasy, or dream, of how their romantic partner should be. Most times, these expectations are unspoken (like a wish) and unexamined. That is, most people don’t really, explicitly know what they want from a partner, they just know it when they see it. It is a tacit bargain or “deal” that is struck. It also becomes most obvious to someone when they are not getting it from their partner. Most importantly, it is the glue that holds the relationship together, and when it dissolves, the relationship goes with it. This chapter explores the origins of this “deal” and the consequences when the bargain is not kept. The irony is that with the infidelity, one usually gets the fantasy without the work, which can feel good, but also empty (because it is not real). At the same time, the reality of the primary relationship may be work, but it holds the promise of getting the fantasy in a more real and substantial way. Most times, in the end, this is more real and fulfilling,
