ABSTRACT
The idea that there is a right and wrong way to grieve is probably one
of the reasons many bereaved adult siblings feel they need to stay
silent. First, sibling grief is not recognized as being as significant as
that of other loved ones. And, second, maintaining a long-term bond
with a dead brother or sister is out of step with what society (at least
in North America) believes is the “appropriate” way to deal with loss.
Everything I have read and observed about sibling relationships
(e.g., Bank & Khan, 1982; Cicirelli, 1995; Gill White, 2006; Lamb, 1982)
speaks to the strength and importance of such connections. One need
only search “sibling loss” on the Internet to find pages filled with
living memorials to dead brothers and sisters.1 And as noted, in my
own casual research reviewing the memoriam section of the news-
paper, most days there is a message for a sibling long gone. Siblings
are permanently etched by the loss of such an intense relationship.
