ABSTRACT
Shame is an integral and painful part of every eating disorder. People with perseverant personalities who serve as their own ‘toxic containers’ experience shame at being who they are, and guilt at doing what they perceive themselves to have done. Such toxic emotions are often accompanied by self-harm—burning, cutting, and other physical enactments. Some individuals resort to shoplifting or stealing what they believe they don’t deserve or can’t get by legitimate means, or to prostitution in the desperate attempt at being held. Some turn to drugs, alcohol, or pornography in search of a few moments of relief—addictive substances and enactments given up far more easily than their eating disorders, as they are attempts at leaving or losing the mind, rather than finding it. Chapter Eleven tells the story of Mackenzie, who blamed herself for her part in an incestuous relationship with her father. It describes the work she and the author did together to help her understand the meaning of her experience and make sense of the bonds of shame that had held her hostage to a non-nurturing life.
