ABSTRACT
We react to grief and loss in very different ways. People oscillate between experiencing loss and working towards restoration. In the early stages these oscillations are rapid and intense, gradually reducing over time and moving more towards restoration. The extent of these oscillations will depend on a whole host of past experiences, personality and current issues. Not surprisingly, therefore, it is not possible to talk about 'normal' or 'abnormal' grief. The one clear feature, however, is that most people find they begin to cope and function more effectively as time passes: 'It feels like you're stuck on an empty train that's stopped at an empty station. There are some people who find it difficult or impossible to cope and function. They repeatedly oscillate back into experiencing loss. Their grief often becomes complicated by turning to alcohol or drugs, by developing psychological problems such as depression, anger, anxiety states or phobias, or by damaging existing relationships or developing unhelpful new ones.
