Looking at our own identity requires courage, honesty and compassion. Healthcare is a demanding profession and one in which we must have a strong sense of who we are if people are to see us as confident, competent and reliable. The golden rule about the Johari Window is that while its overall size never changes, the size of the window panes can. The parent ego state can be further divided into two parts: the critical or controlling parent and the nurturing parent. The child ego state can also be divided into two parts: the adapted child and the free or natural child. Maturity is not about getting rid of the child part from us, but allowing each ego state to become evident when appropriate. During Oliver’s appraisal, his manager had commented on his lack of assertiveness when dealing with elderly male patients. Apart from its relaxing effects, meditation can be another way towards greater self-understanding.