ABSTRACT

One of the most troubling aspects of intimate partner violence for people on the outside of abusive relationships is why women do not just leave the situation. There are a variety of extremely good reasons why victims do not leave, but chief among them is that it is the most dangerous point for women in domestic violence situations in terms of homicide risk.1 It is a wrenching catch-22: Estimates show that victims are 75% more likely to be murdered when they try to leave or have left than when they stay.2 Many victims of intimate partner violence sense this intuitively even where they are unaware of the statistics. For many, the question itself is fuelled by underlying beliefs that women remaining in the violent relationship must be codependent, stupid or masochistic.3 Nothing could be further from the truth. There are a myriad of reasons why women stay in a violent relationship, or make several attempts to leave before getting out permanently, none of which have anything to do with codependency, stupidity or masochism.