chapter  4
Understanding the Parents’ Experience: Trying to Carry On While Struggling for Control
ByKaren Martin
Pages 72

Losing their baby to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) made parents think they might be “going crazy.” It felt like they were “falling apart,” splitting into two parts: an “outside” part and an “inside” part. The “outside” part took control in some parents. Parents very quickly had to deal with the fact that after “the funeral ends everybody goes home and life goes on and it’s tough.” One of the toughest things for some parents was returning to work. To prevent the possibility of another loss to SIDS, some women changed their behavior during the subsequent pregnancy. Within a few months, many parents felt exhausted. Some were on constant guard against the “SIDS fear.” Reeling from the death of their baby, most grieving mothers and fathers had to carry on and be “good parents” to their older children.