ABSTRACT
What’s the difference between consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) and family and friends just living together? Sex. Isn’t one relationship complicated enough? Ought not having sex with one person in a secure relationship be enough for any individual? Responses to the idea of CNM by those who don’t know much about it include negative stigmatization, curiosity, fear of complex intimate relationships, or excitement about being “allowed” to have multiple sex partners. Is sex the reason people engage in CNM? Many are compelled into consensual nonmonogamy for a variety of reasons, rather than deliberately seeking out multiple sex partners. Others find it a helpful and positive lifeway that feels natural. Most in CNM report that sex is an important and satisfying aspect of their life and lovestyle, and that having sex with one partner can positively impact sex with another. Sex shared by multiple friends, strangers, and unrelated domestic partners does, however, create questions, complications, and concerns, which are examined in this chapter: Why choose consensual nonmonogamy? Are multiple sexual partnerships worth the work? Physical health and safer sex? Emotional safety with multiple sex partners? Safety in “kinky” sex? Case excerpts include expanded monogamy and polyamorous partners.
