ABSTRACT

Consensual nonmonogamy is a term that has developed to describe an emerging model responding to human and cultural change. To understand nonmonogamy, we must understand monogamy and what has happened culturally to bring about its opposite. Modern couples are potentially pioneering the development of new models for successful relationships and familyways. Today’s monogamous couples seek love-based, egalitarian monogamy by choice not by force or law; we might call this consensual monogamy. Advances of various sciences are discussed, presenting these current issues about monogamy: Monogamy is not global but is a socialized cultural norm; monogamy is proclaimed to be, but is not the actual practiced cultural norm; monogamy is not instinctive for humans; monogamy is not defined the same by everyone; monogamy is not the only workable, loving choice. Humans have evolved into wanting and being capable of more than socialized monogamy and mating instinct as bases for partnerships and families. Carrying out modern monogamous relationships by choice requires information, hard work, communication skills, establishment of rules and boundaries, personal growth, time, energy, maintenance of intimacy, and commitment. This is the same list required for carrying out successful nontraditional partnerships.