ABSTRACT
Persons in relationship formats known as consensual nonmonogamy (polyamory, swinging, and open marriage) are at legal and personal risk due to incorrect ideas widely held about this lifeway. Consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) clients seek clinical help for many of the same reasons anyone else does, as well as for issues unique to responsible multipartnering. When therapists assume that any problem presented by CNM partners exists only because of their alternative relationship, clients are harmed or left unaided and more marginalized. Clinicians serving this population need to understand what the differing forms of consensual nonmonogamy are—and also what they are not. Each of these social and clinical misconceptions is clarified through professional experience and research: CNM is against all religions; CNM is polygyny; CNM is illegal; CNM is abusive or inappropriate for children; CNM is sex addiction; CNM signals attachment disorder; CNM signals mental health problems; CNM demonstrates that partner(s) cannot commit; CNM is cheating; CNM indicates marriage problems; CNM is “just for irresponsible fun.” Clinicians must examine their deeply held beliefs, their personal experiences, and question their training with regard to monogamy, to get on the current science train which shows that CNM is not for everyone but is as potentially healthy, workable, honest, and safe a relationship and family lifeway as is monogamy; it is as successful and long-term, or not, as is monogamy.
