ABSTRACT
Ability to focus, or lack thereof, is an issue affecting health, relationships, success, and daily living. In consensual nonmonogamy (CNM), attention to multiple personal relationships is especially demanding. Being in the moment and paying attention to self and others are skills that do not come naturally to many. Clients who already have difficulties with focus and attention are particularly challenged in multiple or open relationships. What do we really mean when we use the words attention and focus? What is mindfulness and why is it so important in multiple relationships? Examined in depth are these problems in CNM: misdirected attention seeking; sexual and intimacy issues; being overwhelmed by multiple relationship attention demands; brain problems with focus and attention that negatively impact the ability to be attentive and connect with others. In addition to treating individuals experiencing such brain problems, therapists may need to assist multiple partners be aware of all other partners’ symptoms, know how to manage resulting stress, and learn how to support one another in healing and change. Outlined are evaluation of, and interventions to help correct, attention issues and related brain problems. Case examples include expanded monogamy and polyamorous partners.
